First Session Reflections

I finished and turned in my final papers today for my two Summer Session I classes, and though the last day of class isn't until tomorrow, I thought tonight would be a good time to write a brief reflection on these past five weeks.

First off, they have gone by FAST. Granted, I went home in the middle of them, so since I am not going home again (after this weekend) until the end of Session II, maybe II will feel longer. I've developed a good routine of writing at Caffe Amadeus, usually meeting up with my friend Dawn. Apparently Amadeus is an annex of Leonard Hall (the building that houses the English department) because I always see my classmates or professors, which is one of those small town perks, I suppose. There are only so many places to hide.

I'm growing more excited about my dissertation topic by the minute, and am looking forward to starting research for the lit review and developing research methods and frameworks during Session II. I have a couple of independent projects to juggle as well, so I will basically be moving into Amadeus.

Earlier this week in one of my classes we had a guest speaker, a woman in her 40s, who had published a collection of lessons she'd learned from her students. She spoke about how the best part of the book being published was the fact her mom keeps it on her coffee table and shows it off to her guests. As she was speaking, I almost lost it, and was thinking, "Shut up, shut up, shut up!" Finishing those papers was another reminder of how my best reader isn't at the other end of the email or the phone anymore, and I was doing OK until the woman unintentionally tripped the grief wire. So, this end of the session feels great, but also a bit hollow, too. Incomplete. There is a voice missing from the conversation. I am looking forward to my first two published pieces coming out at the end of the summer and in the fall, but at the same time, the thing I want most is what I can't have: for my dad to be able to read them.